Presence is a quality that arises when we are present to what is here right now. When we are present there is also a certain stillness that arises whatever else may be going on in the foreground.
What does this mean for the Counselling relationship?
When we sense, feel and listen to our clients (or others) in this way, and to ourselves in that space, as well as to what is arising between us, the potential for healing is enormous. We are in a space that is alive with life’s intelligence and power.
Presence is a quality that arises when we are present to what is here right now. When we are present there is also a certain stillness that arises whatever else may be going on in the foreground.
What does this mean for the Counselling relationship?
When we sense, feel and listen to our clients (or others) in this way, and to ourselves in that space, as well as to what is arising between us, the potential for healing is enormous. We are in a space that is alive with life’s intelligence and power.
Preconceptions fall away….
Our preconceptions, judgements and even beliefs cannot co-exist with the present moment. Instead we enter a delicious realm of not-knowing…In ‘The Power of Now” Eckhart Tolle writes:
‘…all your attention is in the Now. There is none left for daydreaming, thinking, remembering, anticipating. There is no tension in it, no fear, just alert presence. You are present with your whole Being, with every cell of your body. In that state, the ‘you’ that has a past and a future, the personality if you like, is hardly there anymore. And yet nothing of value is lost. You are still essentially yourself. In fact you are more fully yourself than you ever were before, or rather it is only now that you are truly yourself.’
Judgements fall away, but discernment becomes keener.
A wider view allows for healing
As soon as we are present, our awareness becomes keener. We are literally seeing from a wider perspective. This gives us a choice in terms of the different ways we may want to communicate with our clients (or others). Because we are literally seeing from a more spacious ground, we are less identified with their feelings or our own; which means we can witness what arises in a session from a certain level of calmness or stillness. We can respond to our clients (or other people) rather than react to them. Rather than rescuing them from their challenging feelings we can be fully there for them in their experiencing. This allows for the possibility of change and healing in their lives.
An experience of non-separation (and thus reparation)
Being present with a client (or another) means being of the same kind – We are not setting ourselves apart. This is kind-ness. Empathy is born when we join with another.
Congruence and honesty
By being present, we are being ourselves. We are being congruent. We are not trying to be something that we are not.
The realm of not-knowing
In being with what is, we find ourselves in an unknown territory. This is a realm full of possibilities, full of potential. It is out of this space that the art of psychotherapy and counselling arise. Where we can truly meet each client (or another person), as a unique individual. It is a space out of which an uncluttered, natural intelligence and intuitive knowing arises.
Love and unconditional positive regard
Out of this ground of presence, of openness to what is, of listening to our clients (and to others) deeply, there naturally arises a sense of stillness, awe, respect, and simplicity – An unconditional positive regard which we may also call love.
Trust
Being present is attuning to what is – this creates a resonance between us and our clients (or others), which leads to trust in the relationship.
